Celebrating Matthew Kayemba Strain, Alexia Uwera Mupende: Legacies in Love

There is no journey as interesting as life. A place where you will find people from different backgrounds yet so alike as though they were cut from the same cloth. People who will touch many lives in amazing ways leaving you with astounding lessons on purpose-driven living. Many years ago, seeing that on most days, I am on the fourth ,fifth and sixth floor but most times live like I am on second floor, going on to the third, I found myself  with brothers, three young brothers; Anthony, Matthew and Peter. Matthew was born special. Now, special is a term we use for people who are just a little different from us because, well, they are special, beautiful on the inside and outside and one ought to go the extra mile to understand them. I believe people should not be labelled by their disability, we are all born different and special.

Matthew was born with the Marshall Smiths syndrome, an ailment where many people do not make it to the age of two, but  Matthew made it to eighteen and more, for which I am grateful to God – both for the bonus lessons I got to learn and enjoying his incredible company. For someone who could not speak or walk, Matthew communicated extremely well and used his walker with the determination of a thoroughbred racing horse. We joked about how he understood French and Luganda better than English – fascinating boy he was! No wonder he turned out to be my first teacher of intuition. Matthew excelled in his ability to sense whatever was going on with the people around him. When he perceived that someone was afraid of him, he would avoid them and the reverse is true. One of the ways he embraced people, in his own beautiful way, is how he would approach someone, kneel at their feet waiting on them to carry him. It was thrilling how he knew voices, and recognized people. Because of Matthew and his being special, I learned to simply love and like people the way they are and most importantly to know that every human being, able-bodied or not, understands and has feelings, and is here on the same mission we are all on, if not better: to bring love, laughter and live to their fullest.

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Despite the impediments to his life, Matthew loved to swim, to race and my oh my, he loved his music. He was that little drummer boy whose drum could not be yanked away, it was a part and parcel of him. You would not imagine what his special television was; the washing machine and dryer. He always crawled away to his special TV after his dinner to revel in the joy that the sound of the machine brought him. At the time, my evolving mind was troubled by the enormous electricity bill yet no one ever stopped the dryer. We would actually throw more items to keep it going while Matthew sat and drummed to the tune, his own rhythm, then laugh, laugh out loud and laugh again displaying his beautiful dimples. Looking back, what mattered is the happiness that came with living in the moment, without a single care in the world. Matthew was so gifted and his laughter so contagious. Whenever there was an accident, say someone spilled a drink, Matthew’s huge eyes will see it, laugh heartily until we all found ourselves laughing with him. He had beautiful eighteenth birthdayand got his angel wings a few weeks later. When I think about him now, I remember how he taught me to love, to think of others who are not as privileged as I am. To know that we are all equal, we all desire to be loved and need to be kind and nice to people, to love them as they are, in our different special ways. His butterfly legacy lives on with the donations he made to the Kampala school of the handicapped in Uganda. I am convinced that Matthew is the lead drummer in heaven.

I chose to love – Matthew Kayemba Strain

Fast forward to 8th January 2019, my little sister, my little Maliwaza, my Toto, my Alexia rested too. Imagine being excited about someone’s wedding only to be told that she had left this world. Her wedding was scheduled to take place in February, a beautiful girl, a model in every sense of the word, Alexia was going to make a beautiful bride. When you would meet Alexia, you would be inclined to judge her, but before you would, she would smile and leave you with no option but to fall in love with her. She loved and celebrated people and everything purple. It is not every day that you meet someone who never gets mad and remembers all your special days, and not just you but everyone she crosses paths with. It was inspiring how many people attended the vigil and funeral in her memory, remembering her for the angel she truly was, a lover of people. She lived up to her name and was the light on our dark days, she brought sunshine everywhere that she went. What stood out for me most was the fact that everyone told the same story – Alexia loved, she was selfless, she remembered people, she prayed for people, she loved God! An unbelievable amazing beautiful young lady with a big big heart. She went for the things she loved to do, with all she was, some days I cannot believe she is not here anymore but the lessons she taught me are many. For her, if she was for something, fear was no limitation, she would go for it. At only 34, she had done amazing and impacted countless lives. And now I check my bucket list, challenged to be fearless and live like Alexia lived.

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What keeps me going, especially on the days when I break down and cry, is thinking about what my Alexia would want me to do. She would definitely not want me to cry. I am comforted by the truth that she is in heaven, with her purple wings, with Matthew, my bff Keturah where I can see them enjoying all these laughs, I can hear all of them say they are watchin over their loved ones. I am thankful for these two young people who touched my life in different ways and challenged me to be deliberate about the legacy I will leave. I am proud of my ride or die, my Asante, who is ready to walk in her model Auntie Alexia’s footsteps, trying to be kind and selfless and emulate her to continue her legacy. Meanwhile, I will rock my little purple things, paint my nails, paint a bit of purple into my life.

What will people remember you for? Can we be true to ourselves about the things that we love? Can we be that sunshine in lives of the people we meet? I am indeed very thankful for the lessons!

I lived my life like I would never die and had faith like I would die tomorrow. God knows my name – Alexia Uwera Mupende

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